Last night a friend of mine nonchalantly told me she has breast cancer in her right breast and will undergo a double mastectomy in a few weeks.

I didn’t know how to react. I know what I felt inside but I didn’t know how to react.

She said it matter of factly.

Where is her strength coming from?

She is one of the very few women I admire. Intelligent, beautiful, funny and someone who understand my way of thinking. In short, we are on the same wavelength.

But where is her strength coming from?ย Where and how do I get that kind of strength?

I have been through a lot.

A lot.

That it seems that I can face anything handed to me. When she invited me last night to attend a get together party in L.A. next month that she is hosting together with her loving partner, I begged off.

What I want is to be alone with her. I want to take long walks with her. I want to have long conversations with her. I want to hold her hand. I want to sit down in a coffee shop and laugh with her. I want to walk barefoot in the beach with her. I want to put flowers in her hair.

That’s what I asked her to do with me. Hoping that spending time alone with her I will learn how to be an amazing woman.

Like her.

Today, I cried.

I cried for myself.