1. Early this morning Vinny went to my room and told me: “Mom, why don’t I ask Nana to get Joshua for the office?”

I removed my reading glasses (I was in the middle of reading my emails) and talked to him.

“Vinny, don’t be weak. Joshua has to go. He has done this so many times already. And you know that. If there is anyone who is affected that we lost him that’s me. I could easily forgive him and my life will be easy again. But NO. Aside from stealing he has borrowed money from you so many times and not paying and can you just imagine how much he stole in your ATM all these years? How much he stole in my ATM all these years?”

“But, Mom he stole to buy milk for his baby. Kawawa.”

“Look, don’t think of it that way. Yes, he stole for his baby. He could have ask. He could have borrowed. He could have done a lot beside stealing. It’s wrong Vin. What he did was wrong.”

Last Thursday we hired a new driver already and he will start on Monday. But before hiring him Vinny called me and said: “so, Mom wala na talaga si Joshua?”

It bothered me. Am I too harsh? Should we forgive him? I am confused now.

But NO I am not taking him back.

2. My Mom called me after lunch and asked me something. She said that something happened with her Viber. She said the word “secret chat” flashed in her screen twice. And it suddenly got lost. She tried to look for it but it’s no longer there. She asked me if it happened to me also. I told her no. I looked at her (video chat) and she looked scared, worried and sad.

I told her: “Mom, it could be a wrong number. Cos if someone really wanted to add you in a chat group it would still be there.” And she said, “why twice? can you please look in your Viber and check if it was sent to you also? And call me back.”

So, I said okay. I looked in my Viber but there was no “secret chat.” I called her back and told her I didn’t get a secret chat message. She looked so sad and disappointed. I told her not to worry about it. For sure it was just a wrong send.

I know why she looked sad. Cos she was hoping it was my sisters. Somehow she is expecting them to at least get in touch with her.

Last week she called me late at night (around 9:00 pm. Not her usual time to call me). She said that Dad suddenly told her: “wa sila mingawa nako?” – don’t they (my sisters) miss me? Out of the blue he asked Mom. And Mom got scared cos Dad is not the type. I got scared too.

In the morning I had to message my good friend Jing and told her about it cos I got scared for Dad.

This is f*cking breaking my heart. Not for me but for Mom and Dad. I know how they feel, I am a parent too.

But if I were to decide, I’d rather they won’t call Mom and Dad anymore. Seriously. Because what they did to our parents was very hurtful. And if I can shield them from that pain, I would. S doesn’t know the effect of cutting them off. She did it twice already (2010 and this year). Every time she is angry at them she always threatens them: I will cut you off!

God, how easy it was for her to say those words. She feels so powerful.

Do you have any idea what that feels like to them? It’s like killing them. Mom at one point told S: “antos na lang gamay hapit na bitaw mi ma matay.” – bear with us just for a little bit. We will die soon.

S doesn’t know the psychological effect it has on Mom and Dad.

Even tho’ I assured Mom so many times that I will never ever cut them off (no matter what happens) she still has that fear. She is very careful with me. Making sure that I will not get angry at them. I told her: “Mom, stop it. I am not S. I will never ever cut you off.” 

Altho’ she feels more secure now (she told me one time when we were talking) but sometimes her fear comes out and it breaks my heart. What have they done? Seriously.

And at the end of the day, they (mom & dad) still look for them. Which I can understand. They are her children. No matter what.

But what’s sad about this is if they find out that Mom and Dad are looking for them, S & P will automatically think “Why?  They need money?” Outright. They will assume that. In my books that is soooo sad. I feel sad that for them life is all about money. I feel sad that the only thing they can think of is money. I feel sad that they won’t be able to enjoy the last few years with them because they think Mom and Dad is only after their money.

I am taking good care of Mom and Dad. They don’t need their f*ucking money.

And that is why I don’t want them to ever talk to my Mom & Dad again. Call me heartless, but I am just protecting Mom and Dad. They are too old for this kind of pain. Too old for their painful words. Their painful words that one day I know will come back to haunt them.

3. My good friend Marivic (from London) is here now vacationing with her boyfriend, Spencer. They arrived last week (night time) and the very next day they left for El Nido, Palawan. They just got back from El Nido last night and this afternoon they will fly to Davao. So, we squeeze time and had lunch.

I brought them to Souv. A new Greek restaurant in BGC.

It was so nice to see Marivic again! I was so happy. And finally, I met her boyfriend, Spencer.

Marivic and Spencer met on Tinder. They are one of the “very few” successful Tinder dates. I am very happy for both of them. Spencer is a very nice guy. Calm, soft-spoken and gentle. Not to mention good looking! I’ve heard a lot about him ‘cos Marivic talks about him all the time. So, today, I finally met him.

I hope Roxanne will find her “Spencer” soon. In Tinder.